Review-John Dies at the End (2013)

Don Coscarelli (Director of some of my favorites like Phantasm and Bubba Ho-Tep) returns with this drug trip of a movie! John Dies at the End is a great movie and the kind of movie I hope to make one day. Much like Phantasm you just have to roll with whats happening and lose yourself in the dream like weirdness of the characters and creatures. Speaking of creatures there are some terrific practical effects in this but thats not to say it doesn't have some bad CG here and there. Everybody gives a great performance, some better than others like the guy who plays John and Paul Giamatti who both kill it. Over all we don't get enough movies like this anymore but maybe thats a good thing because then when we get a really good one like John Dies at the End it stands out in a sea of shit.

7 dead bodys
Lots of breasts
gratuitous exploding eyeball
sharp slugs
meat fu
mustache fu
shoggoth fu

4 STARS
CHECK IT OUT!!!! 
  

The Lobby-#1

I'm gonna start something I'm going call "The Lobby" where I feature movie posters. Classic, New, Old, Neat, Cheesy or ones I think are just plain groovy.
Starting with this one from Mondo Posters! Theres so much going on with this one I didn't even see those skulls on the ground the first time!
Check out more Mondo Posters at their site. http://www.mondotees.com/

Review- Prison (1988)

Well fuck me this movie was a goddamn BLAST! This movie right here is a perfect example of why horror movies in the 80s were better than todays. Effects, atmosphere, acting, characters, pacing and so much more. Viggo Mortensen gives a great performance as the quite badass Burke who must survive a scenery chewingly great warden, a shit hole prison and the vengeful ghost within the prison itself. And a special treat for horror fan Stuns by Kane Hodder!

13 dead body`s (that we see)
0 breasts
deadly light beams
crispy prisoner
ugly fat white people with no shirts on
pipe fu 
barbed wire fu
electro zombie fu

4 STARS
CHECK IT THE HELL OUT! 

Review- Slaughter High (1986)

Slaughter High is classic! The set up is the classic: jocks play prank on nerd, prank goes wrong, nerd is disfigured, jocks meet up years later and get killed by guy in jester mask. The characters are likeable, even the dick jocks become are kinda likeable, but you also want to see Marty (the nerd) get his revenge! Harry Manfredini (Friday the 13th fame) does the music and adds a level of creepy atmosphere as the characters wander around the abandoned school. Its kinda cheesy and there are some stupid moments but nothing is perfect.

8 dead body's
4 breasts
acid bath
acid beer
jester fu
lawn mower fu

3 and a half stars
CHECK IT OUT! 

Review- Curtains (1983)

Curtains is bland. I love slasher movies from the 70s and 80s and not in that hipster "its bad so its good" way.
Curtains is an example of a bland slasher flick thats mostly forgettable, say for some of the stupider moments.
Dean Wormer (John Vernon) plays a director who brings six actresses up to his "manor" to audition for a role in his next movie. Once the girls arrive and awkwardly bitch about each other they are slowly and boringly killed off by a killer in a Phyllis Diller mask. There is a scene where a girl is ice skating when the killer shows up, on skates themselves, and manages to kill the girl even off the ice. I don't know about you but its fucking hard to walk on the ground in skates let alone an uneven forest .There is a twist that is kind of a stretch but over all is really bleh.

8 dead body's
2 breasts
head in the toilet 
ice skate fu
rubber granny mask fu

1 and a half stars
Check it out...    

Review- Scarecrows (1988)

So Scarecrows... First off I love. LOVE! Killer scarecrow movies and this is the ultimate scarecrow film! Scarecrows is like a cross between Die Hard and Aliens but with scarecrows that like to cut you open and stuff you with whatever they can find (be it straw or millions of dollars) then turn you into one of them. The acting is not amazing but it is great for a movie about killer scarecrows especially from actor Michael David Simms who plays the crazy nervous Curry. Its a slow burn horror film (which I love) with a great pay off thats such a blast its a must see!

0 breasts 
6 dead body's
straw fu
scarecrow fu
bald robber fu

4 STARS 
Check it out!

Fear the Unknown... In this tribute to Lovecraft!

Creepy,sentient,severed hand! Another Home movie and tribute to Universal Monster Movies!!

Welcome to the Vault!

Welcome to the Vault horror fans! Here I will review horror films, games and post my own homemade films. Heres a taste!.....